The World According to Amazon.com
Attention fellow single ladies (if there are any more out there)!
Just when you thought you were doomed to a life of unintentional anonymity, of being a social wallflower, of constantly being overlooked in the world of coupledom--salvation comes in the form of a new subject category on Amazon.com:
Books> Subjects> Literature & Fiction> Women's Fiction> Single Women
Now is that a sign of achievement and importance, or what? How can you be considered obsolete when you're an entire category on one of the most successful commercial Web sites in the world?
Out of curiousity, I took a look at some of the best-selling titles in this subject, and (along with the two Bridget Jones books, of course) here's what I found:
Undead and Unreturnable by MaryJanice Davidson
This book seems to be about a high-maintenance single female vampire (I guess there are divas in the supernatural world, too). Didn't seem worth reading (though I guess I wouldn't mind taking a chunk out of the necks of a few past boyfriends).
Diary of a Mad Bride by Laura Wolf
About a woman planning her elaborate wedding. (Okay--doesn't this defeat the purpose of the SINGLE women category?)
The Girlfriend Curse by Valerie Frankel
About a girl who always seems to be the "last girlfriend"--the one who makes the guy really understand and appreciate women so he can go on to shower this newfound knowledge not on her, but on the next girlfriend, who he ends up marrying. (Holy crap! How did Ms. Frankel end up writing my life story? I might actually have to read this one.)
Something Borrowed by Emily Griffin
Nice girl has outgoing best friend. Best friend is engaged to hunk. Nice girl ends up sleeping with best friend's hunk and realizes that he is the "only" man for her. (Whatever happened to female solidarity?)
So, if I characterize my single self according to Amazon.com, I must be a blood-sucking, wedding-obsessed, "always a bridesmaid" nice girl who secretly lusts after her best friend's man and is willing to destroy the friendship to get him.
Not a pretty picture, is it? No wonder I have such horrible relationship karma.
Just when you thought you were doomed to a life of unintentional anonymity, of being a social wallflower, of constantly being overlooked in the world of coupledom--salvation comes in the form of a new subject category on Amazon.com:
Books> Subjects> Literature & Fiction> Women's Fiction> Single Women
Now is that a sign of achievement and importance, or what? How can you be considered obsolete when you're an entire category on one of the most successful commercial Web sites in the world?
Out of curiousity, I took a look at some of the best-selling titles in this subject, and (along with the two Bridget Jones books, of course) here's what I found:
Undead and Unreturnable by MaryJanice Davidson
This book seems to be about a high-maintenance single female vampire (I guess there are divas in the supernatural world, too). Didn't seem worth reading (though I guess I wouldn't mind taking a chunk out of the necks of a few past boyfriends).
Diary of a Mad Bride by Laura Wolf
About a woman planning her elaborate wedding. (Okay--doesn't this defeat the purpose of the SINGLE women category?)
The Girlfriend Curse by Valerie Frankel
About a girl who always seems to be the "last girlfriend"--the one who makes the guy really understand and appreciate women so he can go on to shower this newfound knowledge not on her, but on the next girlfriend, who he ends up marrying. (Holy crap! How did Ms. Frankel end up writing my life story? I might actually have to read this one.)
Something Borrowed by Emily Griffin
Nice girl has outgoing best friend. Best friend is engaged to hunk. Nice girl ends up sleeping with best friend's hunk and realizes that he is the "only" man for her. (Whatever happened to female solidarity?)
So, if I characterize my single self according to Amazon.com, I must be a blood-sucking, wedding-obsessed, "always a bridesmaid" nice girl who secretly lusts after her best friend's man and is willing to destroy the friendship to get him.
Not a pretty picture, is it? No wonder I have such horrible relationship karma.
posted by Chicago Spinster @ 1:53 PM
2 Comments:
At 8:41 PM,
Cold Spaghetti said…
Incredibly interesting observation.
I'll venture a guess that there is no category for "Single Men."
At 8:51 PM,
Cold Spaghetti said…
Now I'm all tickled thinking about what books to include in a category for single men. One can really have some sexist fun here. :-)
What would Amazon pick? Hmmmm...
"Mama's Boy: The True Story of a Serial Killer and His Mother" by Richard Pienciak
"Betty Crocker Kids Cook!" by Betty Crocker
"Lifeskills for Adult Children" by Janet Woifitiz
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