How To Break Up With Someone

Courtesy of my co-worker Joyce (and About.com). Parts of it are too funny!

You are in a relationship with someone that you are no longer romantically interested in. It's time to be honest.

Difficulty: Hard (Well, DUH!)

Time Required: 60 minutes (By what standard was this measured?)

Here's How: (Okay--I'm taking notes!)

1. Get alone with him/her. Don't do this on the phone! (Ooops, I guess text-messaging isn't appropriate either.)

2. Relax. You are doing the right thing... he needs to know the truth. (Ummm... you're just a donut, and I'm looking for a bagel?)

3. Tell him that you feel this relationship on its current level needs to end. (Which would be the level of making out in a crowded bar.)

4. Give him some time to let it sink in. (Oh--that's why it takes an hour!)

5. If he tries to convince you to give him another chance, listen to him. (And then dash his hopes all over again?)

6. Tell him that you've made up your mind. (Now I really, really, really have!)

7. Tell him at what level you would like to keep your relationship. (Ummm... how about never see you again so I don't remember how dumb I was the night we met?)

8. Listen to his response. Respect his feelings about this new level. (Should you still respect his feelings if he throws a drink in your face?)

9. Let him go when he needs to end the conversation. (This would be much easier over the phone.)

So, no problem, right? Right.